Menulis Kambing dan Hujan: Sebuah Pengalaman (Bag. I)
May 13, 2015
Menulis Kambing dan Hujan: Sebuah Pengalaman (Bag. III Habis)
May 13, 2015

Menulis Kambing dan Hujan: Sebuah Pengalaman (Bag. II)

Foto: Novel Kambing dan Hujan

Foto: Cover novel Kambing dan Hujan

Foto: Cover novel Kambing dan Hujan

Oleh: Mahfud Ikhwan

III. Berhenti, Menulis, Berhenti…

Pekerjaan di Jakarta tidak berkelanjutan. Saya masih mencoba bertahan di sana hingga setahun kemudian, bekerja nyaris apa saja, dan oleh karena itu hampir sulit berkonsentrasi dengan proyek-proyek saya. Meski demikian, saya masih ingat bahwa beberapa kalimat yang sampai saat ini bertahan di versi terakhir “Kambing dan Hujan” saya tulis di antara “pekerjaan” menulis berita bikin-bikinan untuk seorang bakal calon gubernur di sebuah provinsi di Sumatera. Ketika balik lagi ke Jogja dan mendapatkan pekerjaan tetap di sebuah penerbitan, novel-novel itu sama sekali stop dalam waktu yang lumayan lama. Itu karena pekerjaan tetap yang saya dapatkan adalah menulis, lebih tepatnya menulis buku pelajaran.

Novel-novel itu kembali mendesak-desak ketika saya bisa membeli komputer untuk pertama kalinya. Itu tahun 2006, kira-kira sudah dua tahun sejak pertama novel-novel tersebut mulai saya tulis. Karena saat itu ada pengumuman Sayembara Novel DKJ, tak ada lain yang bisa saya pikirkan kecuali meneruskan proyek “sastra” saya, Ulid. Sementara itu, kisah cintaremaja NU-Muhammadiyah yang nyerempet-nyerempet ‘65 itu sepertinya tanpa masa depan. Namun tahun itu, seingat saya, berakhir dengan buruk untuk banyak hal. Gempa 6,2 SR yang merontokkan Jogja dan sekitarnya, buku-buku pelajaran yang tidak laku, novel “sastra” yang tak selesai, dan kisah cinta islami yang tetap tanpa masa depan.

Meski kemudian berujung pahit, manakala gambar seorang perempuan menyedihkan tak dikenal merampas muka sebuah novel yang bercerita tentang bocah lelaki, apa yang saya sebut sebagai “proyek sastra” itu selesai tiga tahun kemudian. Mencoba berbangga dengan “anak pertama” (apa pun wujudnya), keluar dari pekerjaan, membuat proyek senang-senang untuk menyambut Piala Dunia 2010, saya ingin kembali kepada kisah cinta yang enam tahun sebelumnya saya mulai.

Namun saya mendapati diri masih ada di dasar pusaran pasir hisap. Dan kini, setelah sekian tahun tak bergerak, pasir hisap itu malah telah bertimbunkan bertruk-truk urugan batu. Timbunan tambahan itu berupa puluhan–mungkin ratusan malah–buku jenis studi sejarah Islam Indonesia yang, entah bagaimana, saya kumpulkan dari tahun ke tahun. Dan, jangan lupakan pula soal ‘65 itu, yang dengan tanpa sadar juga membuat saya mengumpulkan berpuluh judul buku tentang PKI. Mungkin penulis lain bisa menyebut hal itu sebagai kecenderungan riset. Pram dengan tetralogi Buru dan Arus Balik-nya, Kayam dengan Para Priayi-nya, juga beberapa novel hebat lain, konon tumbuh dari tradisi ini. Tapi bukankah yang saya hendak lakukan adalah menulis “proyek sampingan yang lebih enteng, lebih mudah ditulis, dan kalau bisa lebih berpotensi laku”?

Saya tak tahu bagaimana cara keluar dari itu.

IV. Sudah NU-Muhammadiyah, ‘65 Pula, Kenapa?

Menyelinginya dengan menggarap sebuah novel pesanan yang saya kerjakan hanya dalam hitungan pekan, saya berusaha keras untuk keluar dari pasir hisap itu. Kisah cinta itu harus kelar! Itu tekad saya. Buruknya muka novel pertama saya, yang kemudian secara sangat mudah diduga diikuti oleh buruknya penjualan dan sambutan atasnya, membuat saya hoyong. Tapi saya tak mau menyerah untuk menulis. Bukan karena saya ingin jadi penulis yang tangguh dan inspiratif, tapi karena saya yakin saya bukan petani yang tekun atau tukang batu yang cekatan–dua pekerjaan yang paling banyak dilakukan teman-teman seusia saya di kampung. Dan karena itu, kisah cinta itu, bagaimanapun harus saya selesaikan.

Ketika kisah cinta itu saya tengok kembali, secara kuantitatif sebenarnya tidak gagal-gagal amat. Sudah ada tak kurang 150 halaman ketik A4 font TNR 12 spasi 1 di komputer. Artinya, kalau dicetak, tebalnya akan melebihi roman Di Bawah Lindungan Ka’bah karya Hamka ditumpuk tiga. Tapi tak butuh membaca ulang terlalu lama untuk tahu bahwa begitu saya bisa meneruskan naskah itu, saya akan membuang separuhnya dan membongkar separuh yang tersisa.

NU-Muhammadiyah, ‘65 pula, jelas itu biang keladinya. Jelas!

Begini. Untuk bisa menulis sebuah novel pop Islami, yang memiliki kualifikasi masuk ke Majalah Ummi dan dibaca para ukhti, saya mungkin akan aman kalau membebaskan tokoh-tokoh saya dari label-label agama yang terlalu kompleks dan punya konsekuensi pada cerita. Itulah yang dulu saya lakukan untuk menulis cerpen-cerpen bagi Annida. Misalnya, saya sebut saja tokoh-tokohnya pemuda-pemudi salih-salihah, dengan celana kain yang sopan dan baju koko yang bersih untuk yang pertama dan kerudung yang pantas untuk yang kedua. Tak perlu saya rinci apakah yang mereka baca saat sebelum takbiratul ihram atau ketika duduk takhiyat; apakah mereka ikut kegiatan kepanduan atau dhiba’an. Mungkin pembaca akan menebak-nebak apa afiliasi ormas mereka dan gambar apa yang mereka pilih saat Pemilu, tapi biarlah begitu. Atau, kalau perlu, saya abaikan saja hal itu: di dalam fiksi, orang tak perlu jadi bagian dari ormas dan tak harus ada pemilu di situ–cukuplah itu di dunia nyata saja. Dengan kalimat-kalimat thayyibat wajar yang meluncur dari dialog-dialog tokoh-tokoh itu, mereka Islam saja. Cukup. Dan mereka saling mencintai karena Allah, tidak ada lain. Kedua orangtua masing-masing bisa saya bikin sedikit jahat–sedikit saja, sebab mereka toh orangtua-orangtua muslim, dan orangtua muslim tak boleh dibikin terlalu jahat; itu tak akan disukai pembaca yang saya sasar. Mungkin para orangtua itu sedikit dialpakan oleh urusan harta atau jabatan atau kehormatan atau semacamnya, itu tampaknya akan bisa diterima. Secara bersamaan, formula permusuhan Montague dan Capulet dari Romeo-Juliet bisa saya curi sedikit. Awalnya sulit, lalu menjadi lebih rumit, kemudian gawat, tapi semua pada akhirnya berujung bahagia, dunia-akhirat tentu saja. Saya rasa itu akan lebih mudah.

Tapi itu tidak saya lakukan–dan mungkin memang saya tak mampu melakukan; saya malah melompat ke pasir hisap itu. Tak cukup, saya bahkan menimbun diri dengan berpraoto-praoto konsekuensi.

Konsekuensi pertama saya terima seketika begitu memutuskan bahwa karakter pencinta saya masing-masing adalah NU-Muhammadiyah. Saya ingin dua tokoh itu bicara sendiri-sendiri, bercerita sendiri, dengan sudut pandang masing-masing, dengan “aku”-nya masing-masing, dengan NU dan Muhammadiyah-nya masing-masing. Karena dengan ini, saya bisa–pikir saya–melakukan tiga hal: 1) saya memilih teknik sudut pandang (point of view) yang berbeda dengan novel pertama saya yang dikisahkan si pencerita serbatahu; 2) meminimalkan subjektivitas dan bias dari diri saya dan sudut pandang saya yang secara tradisional terikat dengan salah satu ormas itu dan mustahil samasekali melepaskan diri dari hal tersebut; 3) bisa bebas mengeluarkan semua uneg-uneg, prasangka, stereotipe-stereotipe (dari orang NU atas orang Muhammadiyah dan sebaliknya) dan secara bersamaan meyakini atau mengejek prasangka-prasangka, tergantung nanti bagaimana karakter-karakter saya berkembang.

Bisa dilihat, tujuan pertama jelas adalah alasan tekstual–mungkin akan lebih tepat jika disebut alasan kreatif: saya tahu sedikit-sedikit tentang unsur-unsur fiksi, dalam hal ini sudut pandang, point of view; saya ingin mengolah itu tapi sekaligus harus hati-hati dengan itu, sebab belakangan banyak penulis yang ngawur dalam hal ini dan–parahnya–mereka bahkan tidak tahu kalau mereka ngawur. Tapi coba lihat tujuan kedua dan ketiga. Pasti di situlah letak gara-garanya. Ini biang keladinya. Tepat di bagian itulah buku-buku dan pengalaman itu masuk menyerbu, dan kemudian melumpuhkan novel tersebut selama bertahun-tahun.

Tapi, biar saya teruskan dulu. Merasa sudah pas dengan teknik sudut pandang itu, saya melaju. Tapi, saya segera terantuk tembok tebal ketika mulai masuk dan menggarap tokoh-tokoh orangtua, si Montague dan si Capulet versi saya. Jika saya terus dengan sudut pandang kedua tokoh utama seperti pada awalnya, saya akan membuat kedua bapak-bapak itu sekadar jadi bahan rasan-rasan saja bagi anak-anaknya. Itu tidak mungkin; mereka juga harus bicara dan berkisah sendiri, dengan sudut pandangnya sendiri. Tak masalah, Umar Kayam pernah melakukan teknik itu pada Para Priayi dan Jalan Menikung, saya bisa belajar dari itu. Maka, saya memutuskan, sudut pandang “aku” kini ada di empat tokoh.

Dari dua tokoh terakhir, dari para orangtua itu, kisah cinta itu menjadi jauh lebih lancar ditulis. Puluhan halaman bisa saya hasilkan dari tururan tokoh-tokoh tua saya tersebut. Karena bapak-bapak, ingatan dan kisah-kisah mereka jauh lebih kaya dibanding tokoh-tokoh utama saya yang remaja; merekalah yang memiliki jauh lebih banyak prasangka, stereotipe-stereotipe, uneg-uneg, demikian konsekuensinya. Tapi coba terka, kisah cinta macam apa yang didominasi oleh mulut-mulut dan sudut pandang orang tua? Semakin jauh saya menulis, saya rasakan novel itu melenceng semakin jauh dari rencana. Dan saya terseret makin jauh ketika menempatkan kedua orangtua dari masing-masing tokoh itu bukan semata dengan uneg-uneg dan prasangka-prasangka NU-Muhammadiyah; mereka adalah pencipta prasangka-prasangka itu, prasangka-prasangka yang kemudian diturun-temurunkan pada anak. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang ada di pusaran sejarah saat NU dan Muhammadiyah mulai berebut pengaruh di sebuah dusun kecil di tengah ladang yang jadi seting tempat saya. Ya, dengan prasangka-prasangka itu, keduanya pasti akan jadi tiruan Montague dan Capulet yang mendekati sempurna, malah mungkin terlalu sempurna. Tapi, bersamaan dengan itu, Romeo dan Juliet saya pergi entah kemana.

Belum lagi ketika saya mulai memikirkan bahwa di tahun 2000-an (latar waktu cerita saya) orang-orangtua itu telah memiliki anak-anak dalam usia kuliahan dan sekaligus menjadi bagian penting dari kontestasi awal modernis-tradisional di dusun itu (yang saya perkirakan terjadi pada tengah – akhir ‘60-an). Dengan demikian, pastilah mereka beumur tidak kurang dari 50-an. Jika usia 50-an, artinya mereka lahir pada kisaran tahun ‘50-an. Tapi kalau para orangtua itu lahir di akhir 50-an, mereka masih akan terlalu kecil saat peristiwa paling menarik, kontroversial, dan paling misterius dalam sejarah Indonesia, Tragedi ‘65, terjadi. Maka, saya paskan saja: mereka lahir di awal 50-an. Dengan begitu, saat Gestapu/Gestok meletus, mereka sudah cukup dewasa untuk mengerti dan bercerita tentang itu dalam sudut pandang NU-Muhammadiyah-nya. Menarik bukan?

Yes! Eureka! Saya akan jadi salah satu dari sedikit penulis fiksi Indonesia yang akan mencoba menjejak terra incognita itu. Ahmad Tohari, saya akan menjajarimu di wilayah tak bertuan itu! Bukan kau saja yang bisa menulis tentang ‘65!

Terus… bagaimana dengan kisah cinta saya?

(Bersambung…)

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